This should discredit all the non-believers. In a late-night seance performed by the talented Lady Karmen Schottblovsky, Bin Laden's ghost appeared to not less than 30 witnesses, including senators from Texas, Alabama and Nebraska, whereupon the hoary spirit of Osama himself proceeded to reenact the circumstances of his demise with the assistance of several fellow spirits from hades.
Film was developed of the half hour spectacle, complete with lights, a corporeal stage that glowed like a "giant marshmallow" and props including a "helicopter made entirely of light". Sadly, the film showed only a pulsating glow in the position where the performance occured, so will not be presented to the public.
However, several witnesses including the janitor downstairs, the senator from Arkansas, and Osama's pet Aardvark "Simon" have signed documents verifying the truth of their sighting. One statesman stated "it was him alright, you could smell the liquor and cigarettes, and he just kept munching on some white gooey stuff". The evening post rated the performance highly, saying "they forgot a couple lines but all in all the ambiance had that essential creepiness".